In lieu of tomorrow’s election results, Canada’s prime minister Justin Trudeau has announced a plan to build a wall along the entirety of the United States-Canada border. He was quoted as saying,

"We’re sorry we have to do this eh, but our maple syrup reserves can’t handle all of you moving over here because your candidate lost. Again, very sorry."

He then went to a Tim Hortons and drank a litre of maple syrup and coffee without getting any on his flannel suit.

Unfortunately for Canada, their monopoly money reserve cannot support the cost of the wall either. When confronted with this, Trudeau said,

"I’m sorry to ask but could you spot us a couple billion loonies for dat dere wall eh?"

When interviewed on the subject, Obama said,

"A request .... for that much fake money...... is well ridiculous.... Maybe you should ask Hasbro to print you... uh some more."

Then the 57% of Americans who approve of Obama simultaneously wailed in unison "We’re gonna miss this guy." The other 43% suggested having Mexico pay for that wall as well.

Many Americans are already planning on or have attempted an escape across the border. Every copy of Monopoly has been bought countrywide as Americans acquire funds for the crossing. Mounties have been stationed at every major border crossing, politely declining every plea for entrance into the country from horseback. This drove many to attempt swimming across the Great lakes while heavily intoxicated to escape the policy of the candidate who wins. The death toll was high enough to bring the McRib back but lessened by Canadian universal healthcare.

Most Americans simply reminded themselves that congress also plays a role in balancing power and got some popcorn to watch the others blockade run the border. Those who made it across are projected to come back within the week after realizing that Canada has same bullshit America does. The Wall is to be finished shortly after the Mexican border wall.