I'm pretty sick of Star Wars. Not the original movies themselves, just everything else that says Star Wars on it (which seems like everything). The Star Wars franchise has been merchandised onto merchandise that I didn't even know existed. It seems like there's been a Star Wars version of everything, like they've hitched their wagon onto every other successful franchise as a means of staying relevant. Not that that isn't a good plan, it just makes them really annoying.

There's been Star Wars Monopoly, Star Wars Legos, Star Wars Trouble, Star Wars Trivial Pursuit, Star Wars Boggle... I mean, seriously, Star Wars has been slapped on everything. Star Wars has been a marketing machine my entire life. I literally do not remember a time of my life when Star Wars did not exist, and by that I mean I don't remember a time when it didn't purvey every aspect of our culture. I'm so sick of Star Wars and I love Star Wars! It would be different if there were new things going on in the Star Wars universe but there's not. All the Star Wars merchandise is based off the movies with Chewbacca and X-wing fighters and stuff.

Anyway, Angry Birds is turning into the kind of franchise I can't believe people are still into. And what better way for both franchises to remain at the forefront but to combine? The announcement of Angry Birds: Star Wars! The birds will all be dressed like Luke and Leia and Han Solo and stuff. The pigs will be Darth Vader and Stormtroopers and stuff like that. The thing is, I know there are some people who get excited when they hear about Star Wars Angry Birds, but those people are pathetic weirdos. How can you not be sick of Star Wars? There's nothing new! I get it, Darth Vader was a great character, but Jesus, the movie came out in 1977. It was 35 years ago! Why don't you go out and make a Smoky and The Bandit: Hello Kitty app? That'd be super cool.

You know, I wish someone would prove that all of the Star Wars characters were based on George Lucas's favorite terrorists and Nazis so that people would stop liking them. If he would just come out and say "Yes, I'm pro-holocaust and these are what these characters are!" That, to me, would be great, but nevertheless I'm just really sick of Star Wars and wish it would go away.